Reddit is one of the world’s biggest online forums, and people there come together to discuss everything from their favorite video games to their financial woes. In a subreddit called /asktransgender, one user asked, “How did your life change after facial feminization surgery?” The results were quite refreshing, and many people candidly talked about how they felt.
A Huge Change
One Redditor was very thorough in her response. She said that FFS was a necessity for her because she felt very self-conscious about her appearance. In fact, it was so bad that she stayed in what she described as “femme boy mode”, alluding to her feigned “feminine male” personality, because it was simpler and easier. She also noted that she felt as if she didn’t blend in with the crowd, which only made her more self-conscious.
After FFS, she was far less self-conscious than before, but admits she still doesn’t feel 100% confident. She says her transition is now complete and she does feel more like herself. She even mentions having a boyfriend who wasn’t even aware she was trans until she told him. The most standout statement in her post compared FFS surgery for her to reconstructive surgery for someone who’s been injured in a car accident. It was necessary in order for her to feel like herself.
Then and Now
Another common statement among post-FFS transgender women may seem a little strange. One Redditor says that when she looks at her face in the mirror now, she doesn’t feel like she is any different than she ever was. Like many trans patients, she expected to see someone completely different looking back at her, but that was simply not the case. Of course, she points out that this is a good thing; she still feels like herself and doesn’t feel as if her outward appearance is “plastic” in some negative way.
This Redditor says she must find her post-operative pictures to really see a difference, and even then, she has a hard time believing that was ever her. This is common sentiment and one that many others share, and this serves as a testament to the fact that trans women know who they are; they just want everyone else to see them in the same way they’ve always seen themselves.
The World Treats Them Differently
Finally, another comment that finds its way into many of the posts under the /asktransgender subreddit has to do with the way the world treats transgender women before and after surgery. After facial feminization, especially with a talented surgeon, it becomes impossible to tell ciswomen and trans women apart. Because of this, the patients no longer receive sidelong glances from strangers, and they aren’t treated differently when they walk into the women’s restrooms in public.
Facial feminization surgery is by and large one of the most important steps in any transgender woman’s journey, and according to many, it’s even more gender-affirming than gender reassignment surgery. These women’s lives were completely transformed by their procedures, and it serves as an excellent source of hope and power for those who have yet to schedule their own surgeries.